SUBJECTS: COVID; booster shots; WA border; texting Scott Morrison; parenting; Nathan’s 21st; DJ Albo; karaoke; the Australian Open; election timing; corflute storage.
 
JASE HAWKINS, HOST: Hello, and welcome to the podcast. We have a special podcast today. Man Child, you haven’t connected him yet, have you? Just checking. Okay. Okay. Very special podcast. Anthony Albanese, the Opposition Leader, heard Lauren gets a little blue and just likes to swear after the show and was like, ‘Hey, sign me up for the poddy’.
 
LAUREN PHILLIPS, HOST: I want to join in the fun.
 
HAWKINS: All right, shall we connect Albo? Alright, here we go.
 
PHILLIPS: Are we going to cover all the big issues, Jase?
 
HAWKINS: Absolutely. Is that him there? Good morning Albo.
 
ANTHONY ALBANESE, LEADER OF THE AUSTRALIAN LABOR PARTY: How are you going?
 
PHILLIPS: Good morning.
 
HAWKINS: Hi, buddy, how are you?
 
ALBANESE: I’m very well. Very well.
 
HAWKINS: Happy new year.
 
ALBANESE: And all of that, yeah.
 
HAWKINS: Have you managed to dodge the ‘rona through the holidays?
 
ALBANESE: I have. It’s amazing given the travel I’ve done, actually.
 
PHILLIPS: Oh my gosh. You and Jase must be the only two people in the country that have managed to avoid it.
 
ALBANESE: I got a PCR yesterday as well. All good. All good.
 
PHILLIPS: Good for you. Have you had your booster?
 
ALBANESE: I have had my booster. I’m a good boy.
 
PHILLIPS: That makes a big difference, the booster. You know, I tested positive on the day I was booked in for my booster. What a kick in the guts.
 
HAWKINS: Are you allowed to jump the line for the booster, being the Opposition Leader? Like if you rock up
 
ALBANESE: No, no.
 
PHILLIPS: No special treatment, Albo.
 
HAWKINS: God, we really need to give you this top job, mate. Not much cool stuff comes of just being Opposition Leader, hey?
 
ALBANESE: No, you get nothing. You get nothing.
 
PHILLIPS: Are you allowed to jump the border and get into Perth? Or are you going to be locked out of there for the rest of eternity?
 
ALBANESE: No, locked out. I was booked on the first plane on Feb 5.
 
PHILLIPS: Albo, what’s going on with that? I’ve got so many friends who are just absolutely devastated this morning, who were meant to be off to see their families this week, next week, whenever it is or was supposed to be.
 
ALBANESE: Yeah, there’s a lot of people in Perth that are pretty relieved though. They reckon they’re going OK. They haven’t had any of the restrictions that we’ve had on the east coast, where we continue to struggle. So it is understandable.
 
PHILLIPS: Do you think it’s understandable?
 
ALBANESE: Absolutely. Mark McGowan’s kept West Australians safe.
 
HAWKINS: Don’t you think they’re just prolonging what’s going to happen anyway?
 
ALBANESE: It’s a tough decision. Well, what they’re trying to do as well is get the vaccination rates up in places like the Kimberley and there are places, the Pilbara, they do have a substantial remote community and they’re worried that if it gets into one of those communities then it could have quite devastating consequences. So, their economy’s kept going, they’re going to restaurants, they’re going to pubs, they’re having concerts. They’re doing all the things that aren’t happening in other places.
 
PHILLIPS: But they’ve just had two years to prepare for it.
 
ALBANESE: Yeah, well, it’s been tough. But they’ve had a look at what’s gone on here and the failure on RATs. It’s easier to get the virus than it is to find a RAT, in my local community, I’ve got to say.
 
HAWKINS: I think what’s going to be hard is Mark McGowan coming out and saying, hey, you know what, we'll get there when we get to, what’s he said, like, maybe 80 third dose?
 
PHILLIPS: And they’re at 35.
 
HAWKINS: And the problem was, it was like, mate, it was only like a month or so ago, you were saying, hey, when we hit 80 or 90 per cent double-dosed we’ll open the border. You know, at what point do you stop believing him?
 
ALBANESE: I think, though, I think West Australians showed they believe in him when they voted in unbelievable numbers for him. I mean the Liberal Party’s down to two members, the National Party’s down to two. He got the support of seats that have never voted Labor, ever. And that was on the basis of his strong leadership. So he clearly has support there. And I've got, one of my best mates I grew up with, he travelled around Australia and got to Perth and stayed there. And I speak to him regularly, and he certainly looks across at his family, some of them are still in the east, and he knows that his lifestyle is a lot better than theirs has been, at least over the last couple of years. And their economy’s the strongest in Australia, of course, as well. 
 
HAWKINS: What’s his name, Albo? Your best mate?
 
ALBANESE: Clayton.
 
HAWKINS: You better be careful, he could hit you up for a consultancy fee, you know what I mean, advisory fee, if you’re ringing him to say, ‘What’s the boots on the ground over there, what’s the vibe?’
 
ALBANESE: He’s done OK. He’s a wharfie. Lives in Freo. And he’s a very proud West Australian these days. But he’s still a proud Sydney Rabbitohs guy.
 
PHILLIPS: There you go. Can’t take that away from him.
 
HAWKINS: Hey, last time we caught up, we were texting Scomo. Remember? He was on the plane back from, was it, Fiji, Hawaii, the Maldives? Some holiday. Since then, he did come into the studio and we did say, hey, did you get the text from Lauren, myself and Albo? And he had a weird look on his face, didn’t he Loz? It was like he didn’t really understand.
 
PHILLIPS: Yeah. He got it. But he didn’t really ‘get it’. If you know what I mean.
 
ALBANESE: He didn’t get it. No, he didn’t get it at all.
 
PHILLIPS: He did say he was going, we then took a photo with him, and he did say he was going to reply. Did he ever reply?
 
ALBANESE: He did send the photo to me. He did. He did send the photo as evidence that he’d been in your studio. I’m still not sure he got it though.
 
PHILLIPS: I hope one day if your phones get raided it comes out there was some really unusual communication.
 
ALBANESE: That’s right. There was compromising photographs. Now, what were they? What did they involve?
 
HAWKINS: Terrorist targets?
 
ALBANESE: It involved radio presenters.
 
HAWKINS: I can see the Daily Mail headline now. Jesus. Hey Albo, I’m doing the show from home in my garage at the moment. My little COVID quarantine bubble, about to have my third child. How were you with younger kids. Did you do nappy changes and stuff like that?
 
ALBANESE: I did the full bit. It’s a great experience. My little baby now has turned 21 in December, so he, of course, is asleep. It gets easier. I can indicate that to you. There is no danger of him waking up any time before 11am.
 
HAWKINS: Good.
 
PHILLIPS: Weren’t they the best days?
 
HAWKINS: I tell you what. If you do then become the PM you have the right then to storm in and say, get up, get off the dole, I’m technically now paying for you to be in bed?
 
ALBANESE: I send the dog in, occasionally, just to annoy him. If he’s had a late night, the dog will go in and jump on him and tell him to get up and then she runs away again. Not successful. Nothing will get him out of bed.
 
HAWKINS: So did you get to do a 21st for him? Or was it all, because of COVID, no parties?
 
ALBANESE: We were really lucky. He was right in the sweet spot when it was OK. So I hired the top floor of a pub in Petersham and we had all of his friends there. It was COVID safe. The cops came.
 
HAWKINS: Did you do a speech?
 
ALBANESE: I did indeed. We all gave embarrassing speeches, as you do.
 
PHILLIPS: Did you say the cops came?
 
ALBANESE: The cops came and checked. They were going around. I was really pleased to see them, I’ve got to say. They were going around and checking that everyone was vaxed.
 
PHILLIPS: No one called them, though?
 
ALBANESE: No, no one called. It was a pretty quiet, sombre affair. But it was a good little venue. He chose the playlist. I was quite pleased by his playlist.
 
PHILLIPS: Did you get on the decks? We know you love a bit of a hoon on the DJ decks?
 
ALBANESE: No. I’ve got to say, he clearly has been influenced by his old man. No 21-year-old knows bands like The Cure and New Order. He clearly, he denies I’ve had any influence, but clearly he’s been influenced, maybe from the time he was in the womb.
 
PHILLIPS: Seriously though, we know you love having a crack on the decks and I just think there’d be nothing more embarrassing than, like, being at your 21st and your dad getting up and having a hoon.
 
HAWKINS: Plus the speech would have been political. Hey, I’ve got an idea, Lauren is quite a fan of karaoke, Albo. Next time you’re in the studio, should we belt out one of your classics together?
 
ALBANESE: Oh, it’s on.
 
PHILLIPS: Great. You didn’t even stop and think about that.
 
HAWKINS: No, but he’s going to hang up, look at his people and say, ‘Never book an interview with KIIS Melbourne’.
 
PHILLIPS: We’ll send a video to Scomo.
 
ALBANESE: What you’re missing out is, it’s my people who are listening who will be going, ‘Nooooooooooo’. I can hear them from wherever they are. I am a terrible singer.
 
PHILLIPS: So am I. That makes two of us. It will be a delight.
 
ALBANESE: Excellent. Excellent. Maybe, I think a go to duet, Paradise by the Dashboard Light by Meatloaf.
 
PHILLIPS: Jesus. Meatloaf. Alright. I’ll get cracking on rehearsals.
 
HAWKINS: Hey, I was just going to ask. Are you heading off to the tennis, are we going to see you pop up at down the AO?
 
ALBANESE:  I am going to head off to the tennis at some stage. I’m intending to. I’m not quite sure when at this point in time. But I am intending to. I usually drop in there. It’s a fantastic event. 
 
PHILLIPS: Yeah, you’ll be rolling in for the finals. He won’t be snooping around on the outside courts.
 
ALBANESE: Oh no, it’s great.
 
PHILLIPS: Isn’t it a terrific event, though?
 
ALBANESE: The tickets on the outside where you can just wander around and go from court to court. There’s excitement around a particular match so people will gather there because it’s gone the five sets and the crowd will get into it.
 
PHILLIPS: It’s a great vibe. It was heaving out there last night.
 
ALBANESE: It’s fantastic. Really, really good. And it is a great event. And Melbourne does events so well.
 
PHILLIPS: No one beats us at events.
 
HAWKINS: It was heaving out there last night. I’d love to hear that from Albo. ‘Oh mate it was heaving at the AO, what a night’.
 
PHILLIPS: It was.
 
HAWKINS: Well, listen, we'll let you go. But thanks so much for joining us this morning. It's always good fun when you join us on the air. You're a good sport.
 
PHILLIPS: Do we have a date for the election yet?
 
HAWKINS: Nup.
 
ALBANESE: No. No. He’ll never make a decision, this bloke, if he can avoid one. So don’t expect it to be early now. That’s the track record.
 
HAWKINS: Here’s what I imagine. Is your garage full of those little photos that people put in their front yard saying ‘I vote For Albanese’? And you've just got the garage full, ready to roll them out when he sets a date?
 
ALBANESE: No, I’ve actually got a mate.
 
HAWKINS: Here we go.
 
ALBANESE: I’ve got a mate who has parents who have, at the back of, they’re good Greeks in Marrickville, who of course have a very big shed. And it is full of my corflutes. He used to work for me a long time ago. And his parents are still stuck with all these bloody corflutes from the last campaign. So they’re sitting there, rent free, out the back there.
 
HAWKINS: Roll them out, mate.
 
ALBANESE: It’s a double story garage. It’s fantastic.
 
PHILLIPS: How good.
 
ALBANESE: And the whole of the top attic is just my corflutes and the wooden things, the a-frames that the corflutes go on as well.
 
HAWKINS: It’s like a little merch store.
 
ALBANESE: They’re all there. He gets paid with a slab of beer every now and again for his parents. Which is very cheap rent for Marrickville.
 
PHILLIPS: Well, it’s very cheap rent for Storage King too. Those storage units are expensive these days. A slab a month seems like a pretty good deal.
 
HAWKINS: I’d love to see a paparazzi photo of you unloading photos of your own self into a shed.
 
ALBANESE: Shop around.
 
HAWKINS: Albo, we’ll let you go. Thanks so much for joining us this morning mate and we’ll chat soon.
 
ALBANESE: See you next time I’m in Melbourne.
 
PHILLIPS: Can’t wait for our karaoke duet.
 
ALBANESE: Karaoke, it’s on.
 
HAWKINS: Mark your words. See you mate. There he goes. Opposition Leader, Anthony Albanese.
 
PHILLIPS: I like him. I like him. Do we have that audio of when he came in and DJed in here? And he went, ‘Welcome back’.
 
RECORDING: Australia’s latest music sensation, DJ Albo.
 
HAWKINS: Oh we had an opener. Get him back on the line I want to play the opener.
 
PHILLIPS: It’s alright. It’s an exit sting.
 
ENDS